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I must thank Costco for making me realize there’s a whole category of topics I need to keep an eye out for around oxymoron process (or, in this case, oxymoron policy). As I’m sure some readers have witnessed, Costco really applies the hard sell on their executive membership, jumping you at the register with high tech scanners that tell you how much cash back you would get if you upgraded from a regular membership. So, last year, my wife and I broke down and took the bait, since we do buy quite a bit of our building supplies as well as other items from Costco. (Note to self: if someone repeatedly jumps in your face to try to sell you something, no matter how good it sounds, just say no.) So, over the last few months my wife and I have earned quite a bit of cash back on our purchases, This cash back isn’t really cash; it comes in the form of Costco script which must be used within six months. That’s fine, my wife shops at Costco often enough so she’ll just use the script coupon that we received in the mail the next time she goes to Costco. Wrong. The coupon is written out in my name, even though we are both on the account. Since it’s written in my name, only I can use the coupon at Costco. This happened today. I called Costco this evening and asked a manager WTF. The manager confirmed that this is Costco’s policy and it is to protect me in case I divorce my wife - so she couldn’t go to Costco and use the coupon with my name on it. (Really. You can’t make this crap up.) Now that’s just a moronic policy (since my wife and I still share an active account at Costco). But here’s what makes it an oxymoron policy. My wife purchased everything today with our Costco Amex. That Costco Amex is in my name. And - wait-a-minute - my cash back coupon comes printed on the statements for that very same Costco Amex. Guys, I could have just divorced my wife. I don’t give a damn about the stupid coupon. What about the hundred thousand dollar Costco Amex credit limit that you would have happily let my newly-divorced wife max out? Again, I did speak to a “manager” about this, who did say it is company policy. I’ll probably follow up with Costco corporate tomorrow.
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